One of the fashionable terms hovering around these days is ‘soft skills’. “Skill is the ability to do something well”. Some define skill as a ‘cluster of personality traits’. Earlier companies used to measure in terms of hard skill (intelligent quotient) for recruiting a person. These included knowledge in a particular field, experience in working on a set of machines, ability to apply theoretical knowledge to practical applications, logical and analytical reasoning etc.
Most of these skills are included in academic curriculum. Therefore, an academically successful student was expected to succeed in life and career too. Due to technological advancements, economy has brought about a phenomenal shift in the skills required for a person to succeed in career.
Typically, soft skills can be defined as the skill that enables an individual to engage and interact effectively with others, obtain acceptance, build consensus and provide assistance, leadership and direction. Hard skills are easy to observe, quantify and measure and thus easy to train and acquire. However, soft skills- being more behavioral in nature- are a result of various influences and interactions one has had in his or her life since childhood. Hence these influences have both positive and negative impact on the person by the time they reach employability. Therefore, soft skills training include a lot of unlearning and relearning issues.
Majority are in misconception that both soft skills and English communication are same. This is not really true. Communication skills are a part of soft skills. Soft skill facilitate individual to fulfill his or her responsibilities in an effective way possible both at work and at home.
Most of the companies look for following skill set before entering or at the time of recruiting staff: first and foremost is the ability to learn at a faster pace, adapting to the cultural diversities and team work, able to grasp the concepts and be ready to handle a team or a project and aligning his or her goals with the companies goals. Business conferences are the call of the day; hence employee should be good at oral as well as written communication skill. Last but not the least, organizations often place faith and give the employee substantial responsibilities very early in their career.
Now we can see a 26 year old handling a team of 25+ head count and generating decent revenues in crores. To achieve this integrity, vision, ethics plays a far-reaching role.
The first step in developing effective soft skills is to wipe out the negative impressions and learn the positive traits. Soft skills take significant time to learn and absorb in the blood, therefore patience is needed to expect the desired results. And practical application is the call of the day towards estimating one’s understanding and impacts.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE-Part 2
How to win people to your way of Thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it: Why prove to man/women is wrong? Is that going to make them like you? Why not let them try to save their face? “Always try to avoid the acute angle.” There is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument-and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattle snakes and earthquakes. One can’t win an argument. Because if they lose it, they lose it; and if they win, they lose it!! Why? With the win you may feel fine, but what about the other? You have made him feel inferior and hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph. Also if you argue, rankle and contradict, you may achieve victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory as you will never get the opponents good will. Buddha said: ‘Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love,’ and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other person’s viewpoint.
In an article in “Bits and pieces” (Economic press), decent suggestions are made on keeping a disagreement from becoming an argument:
a) Welcome the disagreement: Disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.
b) Distrust your first instinctive impression: At times of disagreeable situation, keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be your worst, not the best.
c) Control your temper: Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.
d) Listen First: Give your opponents a chance to talk and finish. Do not resist. Try to build bridges of understanding not the higher barriers of misunderstanding.
e) Look for areas of agreement
f) Be Honest: Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm the opponent’s defensiveness.
g) Promise to think over your opponents ideas and study them carefully: Because they may be right sometimes and they may say-“we tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.”
h) Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest: Anyone who takes the time to disagree with you is interested in the same things you are.
i) Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem: Ask yourself some hard questions- could my opponent be right? Is there truth or merit in their position or argument? Is my reaction relieves the problem and draw the opponents closer or keep away from me? What price will I have to pay if I win? Is this difficult situation an opportunity for me?
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong”: Theodore Roosevelt once confessed that if he could be right 75% of the time, he would reach the highest measure of his expectation. If you can be right 55% the time, then you can make million dollars in Wall Street! If you can’t be sure of being right even 55% of the time, why should you tell other people they are wrong? You can tell people they are wrong by a look or intonation or a gesture. In that case, do you make them want to agree with you? Never!
Never begin by announcing “I am going to prove so-and-so to you.” That’s tantamount to saying: “I’m smarter than you are. I’m going to tell you a thing or two and make you change your mind.” It arouses opposition and makes the listener want to battle with you before you even start. If you are going to prove anything, don’t let anyone know it. Do it so subtly, so adroitly that no one will feel you are doing it. There are famous adages- “You can’t teach a person anything, you can only help him to find within himself.” And “Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.” There is a positive magic in the phrase: I may be wrong. I frequently am. Let’s examine the facts. By telling the other person that he is wrong- you only succeed in stripping that person of self-dignity and making you an unwelcome part of any discussion, instead use little diplomacy.
Few books of your interest- Carl Rogers “On Becoming a Person” and “Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography, Yogoda Satsanga Societies lessons have some excellent points/ techniques to adapt in life.
3. If you are wrong, admit quickly and emphatically: When we are right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking and when we are wrong- and that will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves- let’s admit our mistake with enthusiasm. Let’s remember the old proverb: “By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”
4. Begin in a friendly way: If your temper is aroused and you tell them a thing or two, you will have a fine time unloading your feelings. But what about the other person? Will he share your pleasure? Will your belligerent tones, hostile attitude, makes it easy for him to agree with you? If a man’s heart is rankling with discord and ill feeling toward you, you can’t win him to your way of thinking with all the logic. Scolding parents and domineering bosses and husbands and nagging wives ought to realize that people don’t want to change their minds. They can’t be forced or driven to agree with you or me. But they may possible be led to, if we are gentle and friendly, ever so gentle and ever so friendly. It is a true maxim that “a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.” So with humans, if you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately: In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing the things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing- and keep on emphasizing- the things on which you agree. Keep your opponent from saying ‘No’. A NO response is the most difficult handicap to overcome. When you have said ‘no’, all your pride of personality demands that you remain consistent with yourself. Once having said a thing, you feel you must stick to it. Hence it is of the greatest importance that a person be started in the affirmative direction. The skillful speaker gets, at the outset, a number of “yes” responses. This sets the psychological process of the listeners moving in the affirmative direction.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking (A safety valve in handling complaints): Most people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking. Let the other people talk them out. Ask them questions; let them tell you a few things. If you disagree with them you may be tempted to interrupt. But don’t it is dangerous. They won’t pay attention to you while they still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression. So listen patiently with an open mind. But be sincere about it. A French philosopher, La Rochefoucauld said: “If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.”
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers (how to get cooperation): Don’t you have much more faith in ideas that you discover for yourself than in ideas that are handed to you on a silver platter? If so, isn’t it wiser to make suggestions-and let the other person think out the conclusion? One of the sales managers of an automobile showroom spoke about how he infused enthusiasm in sales people- he urged his people to tell him exactly what they expected from him. As they talked, he wrote their ideas on a black board and then said: I’ll give you all these qualities you expect from me. Now I want you to tell me what I have a right to expect from you.” The replies came quick and fast. The result- sales was phenomenal.
A Chinese sage, Lao-tse said: - “The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, put himself below them; wishing to be before them, he put himself behind them. Thus, though his place is above men, they do not feel his weight; though his place is before them, they do not count it an injury.”
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view (A formula that works wonders for you): Remember that other people may be totally wrong. But they don’t think so. Don’t condemn them. Any fool can do that. Try to understand them. Only wise, tolerant, exceptional people even try to do that. There is a key to handle his personality and actions: try honestly to put yourself in his place. If you say to yourself, “How would I feel, how would I react if I were in his shoes?” You will save yourself time and irritation, “by becoming interested in the cause, we are less likely to dislike the effect.” In addition you will sharply increase your skill in human relationships. One can observe from the lives of Lincoln and Roosevelt that, success in dealing with people depends on a sympathetic grasp of the other person’s viewpoint. Dr. Gerald S. Nirenberg commented: “Cooperativeness in conversation is achieved when you show that you consider the other person’s ideas and feelings as important as your own.”
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires: Wouldn’t you like to have a magic phrase that would stop arguments, eliminate ill feeling, create good will and make the other person listen attentively? YES? Here it is: “I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.” Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them and they will love you.
Dr. Arthur I. Gates said in his book Educational psychology: “Sympathy the human species universally craves. The child eagerly displays his injury or even inflicts a cut or bruise in order to reap abundant sympathy. For the same purpose adults...show their bruises, relate their accidents, illness especially details of surgical operations. ‘Self-pity’ for misfortunes real or imaginary is in some measures, practically a universal practice.”
10. Appeal to the nobler motives
11. Dramatize your ideas: This is the day of dramatization. Merely stating a truth isn’t enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting and dramatic. You have to show showmanship. The movies, TV does it. And you will have to do it if you want attention.
12. Throw down a challenge (when nothing else works, try this): Charles Schwab says- “the way to get things done is to stimulate competition. I don’t mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel.” The desire to excel! The challenge! Throwing down the gauntlet! An infallible way of appealing to people of spirit. “All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory”. What greater challenge can be offered than the opportunity to overcome those fears? The chance for self-expression is what every successful person loves. The chance to prove his or her worth, to excel to win.
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it: Why prove to man/women is wrong? Is that going to make them like you? Why not let them try to save their face? “Always try to avoid the acute angle.” There is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument-and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattle snakes and earthquakes. One can’t win an argument. Because if they lose it, they lose it; and if they win, they lose it!! Why? With the win you may feel fine, but what about the other? You have made him feel inferior and hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph. Also if you argue, rankle and contradict, you may achieve victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory as you will never get the opponents good will. Buddha said: ‘Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love,’ and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other person’s viewpoint.
In an article in “Bits and pieces” (Economic press), decent suggestions are made on keeping a disagreement from becoming an argument:
a) Welcome the disagreement: Disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.
b) Distrust your first instinctive impression: At times of disagreeable situation, keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be your worst, not the best.
c) Control your temper: Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.
d) Listen First: Give your opponents a chance to talk and finish. Do not resist. Try to build bridges of understanding not the higher barriers of misunderstanding.
e) Look for areas of agreement
f) Be Honest: Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm the opponent’s defensiveness.
g) Promise to think over your opponents ideas and study them carefully: Because they may be right sometimes and they may say-“we tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.”
h) Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest: Anyone who takes the time to disagree with you is interested in the same things you are.
i) Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem: Ask yourself some hard questions- could my opponent be right? Is there truth or merit in their position or argument? Is my reaction relieves the problem and draw the opponents closer or keep away from me? What price will I have to pay if I win? Is this difficult situation an opportunity for me?
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong”: Theodore Roosevelt once confessed that if he could be right 75% of the time, he would reach the highest measure of his expectation. If you can be right 55% the time, then you can make million dollars in Wall Street! If you can’t be sure of being right even 55% of the time, why should you tell other people they are wrong? You can tell people they are wrong by a look or intonation or a gesture. In that case, do you make them want to agree with you? Never!
Never begin by announcing “I am going to prove so-and-so to you.” That’s tantamount to saying: “I’m smarter than you are. I’m going to tell you a thing or two and make you change your mind.” It arouses opposition and makes the listener want to battle with you before you even start. If you are going to prove anything, don’t let anyone know it. Do it so subtly, so adroitly that no one will feel you are doing it. There are famous adages- “You can’t teach a person anything, you can only help him to find within himself.” And “Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.” There is a positive magic in the phrase: I may be wrong. I frequently am. Let’s examine the facts. By telling the other person that he is wrong- you only succeed in stripping that person of self-dignity and making you an unwelcome part of any discussion, instead use little diplomacy.
Few books of your interest- Carl Rogers “On Becoming a Person” and “Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography, Yogoda Satsanga Societies lessons have some excellent points/ techniques to adapt in life.
3. If you are wrong, admit quickly and emphatically: When we are right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking and when we are wrong- and that will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves- let’s admit our mistake with enthusiasm. Let’s remember the old proverb: “By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”
4. Begin in a friendly way: If your temper is aroused and you tell them a thing or two, you will have a fine time unloading your feelings. But what about the other person? Will he share your pleasure? Will your belligerent tones, hostile attitude, makes it easy for him to agree with you? If a man’s heart is rankling with discord and ill feeling toward you, you can’t win him to your way of thinking with all the logic. Scolding parents and domineering bosses and husbands and nagging wives ought to realize that people don’t want to change their minds. They can’t be forced or driven to agree with you or me. But they may possible be led to, if we are gentle and friendly, ever so gentle and ever so friendly. It is a true maxim that “a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.” So with humans, if you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately: In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing the things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing- and keep on emphasizing- the things on which you agree. Keep your opponent from saying ‘No’. A NO response is the most difficult handicap to overcome. When you have said ‘no’, all your pride of personality demands that you remain consistent with yourself. Once having said a thing, you feel you must stick to it. Hence it is of the greatest importance that a person be started in the affirmative direction. The skillful speaker gets, at the outset, a number of “yes” responses. This sets the psychological process of the listeners moving in the affirmative direction.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking (A safety valve in handling complaints): Most people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking. Let the other people talk them out. Ask them questions; let them tell you a few things. If you disagree with them you may be tempted to interrupt. But don’t it is dangerous. They won’t pay attention to you while they still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression. So listen patiently with an open mind. But be sincere about it. A French philosopher, La Rochefoucauld said: “If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.”
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers (how to get cooperation): Don’t you have much more faith in ideas that you discover for yourself than in ideas that are handed to you on a silver platter? If so, isn’t it wiser to make suggestions-and let the other person think out the conclusion? One of the sales managers of an automobile showroom spoke about how he infused enthusiasm in sales people- he urged his people to tell him exactly what they expected from him. As they talked, he wrote their ideas on a black board and then said: I’ll give you all these qualities you expect from me. Now I want you to tell me what I have a right to expect from you.” The replies came quick and fast. The result- sales was phenomenal.
A Chinese sage, Lao-tse said: - “The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, put himself below them; wishing to be before them, he put himself behind them. Thus, though his place is above men, they do not feel his weight; though his place is before them, they do not count it an injury.”
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view (A formula that works wonders for you): Remember that other people may be totally wrong. But they don’t think so. Don’t condemn them. Any fool can do that. Try to understand them. Only wise, tolerant, exceptional people even try to do that. There is a key to handle his personality and actions: try honestly to put yourself in his place. If you say to yourself, “How would I feel, how would I react if I were in his shoes?” You will save yourself time and irritation, “by becoming interested in the cause, we are less likely to dislike the effect.” In addition you will sharply increase your skill in human relationships. One can observe from the lives of Lincoln and Roosevelt that, success in dealing with people depends on a sympathetic grasp of the other person’s viewpoint. Dr. Gerald S. Nirenberg commented: “Cooperativeness in conversation is achieved when you show that you consider the other person’s ideas and feelings as important as your own.”
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires: Wouldn’t you like to have a magic phrase that would stop arguments, eliminate ill feeling, create good will and make the other person listen attentively? YES? Here it is: “I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.” Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them and they will love you.
Dr. Arthur I. Gates said in his book Educational psychology: “Sympathy the human species universally craves. The child eagerly displays his injury or even inflicts a cut or bruise in order to reap abundant sympathy. For the same purpose adults...show their bruises, relate their accidents, illness especially details of surgical operations. ‘Self-pity’ for misfortunes real or imaginary is in some measures, practically a universal practice.”
10. Appeal to the nobler motives
11. Dramatize your ideas: This is the day of dramatization. Merely stating a truth isn’t enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting and dramatic. You have to show showmanship. The movies, TV does it. And you will have to do it if you want attention.
12. Throw down a challenge (when nothing else works, try this): Charles Schwab says- “the way to get things done is to stimulate competition. I don’t mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel.” The desire to excel! The challenge! Throwing down the gauntlet! An infallible way of appealing to people of spirit. “All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory”. What greater challenge can be offered than the opportunity to overcome those fears? The chance for self-expression is what every successful person loves. The chance to prove his or her worth, to excel to win.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE-Part 1
These are the fundamental techniques given by the management GURU- Dale Carnegie.
1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain: B.F. Skinner, the famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior. This indeed, applies to the humans as well. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment. When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
Do you know the secret of Benjamin Franklin’s success? “He will speak ill of no man,” he said, “…and speak all the good I know of everybody.”
Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.”
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation: There is only one way under heaven to get anybody do anything. That is by ‘making the other person want to do it.’ Someone asked Sigmund Freud- the only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want. This is human nature!! W. James wrote “the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” This is the chief difference between a human and an animal-the desire for feeling of importance. C. Schwab had been paid more than thousand dollars a day by A. Carnegie!? Have you imagined why? Schwab says that he was paid this salary because of this ability to deal with people. He further continues, “I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people the greatest asset I possess, and by appreciation and encouragement.” There is nothing else that kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. Believe in giving incentives to the work done. I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.
When a study was made a few years ago on runaway wives, what do you think was discovered to be the main reason? It was “lack of appreciation.” Some people do more flattery than appreciation. In the long run, this will cause more harm than good. Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.
So always remember, hurting people not only change them, it is never called for. People will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime-repeat them years after you have forgotten them.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want: The only way on earth to influence other person is to talk what they want and show them how to get it. First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.” Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something. Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: “How can I make this person want to do it?” That question will stop us from rushing into a situation heedlessly, with futile chatter about our desires. If there is anyone secret of success, said H. Ford, “it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
4. Become genuinely interested in other people: Have you ever stop to think that a dog is the only animal that doesn’t have to work for a living? A hen has to lay eggs; a cow has to give milk. But dog makes his living by giving you nothing but love. You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Alfred Adler, a famous Viennese psychologist says: “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.” Now it is evident that for the corporate’s to survive in the competitive market they need to lay a path for serving their clients genuinely. Service industry-ITES train their employees to greet all callers in a tone of voice that radiates interest and enthusiasm.
5. Smile-a simple way to make a good first impression: Action speaks louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you. ” A baby’s smile has the same effect. It’s worth mentioning about the Chinese proverb-“A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.” Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. Someone who is under pressure from his job, business, relatives or finances, a smile can help her/him realize that all is not hopeless-that there is joy in the world.
6. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language: Jim Farley says his “success is due to the result of his ‘hard work’ funny! He continues that he can call fifty thousand people by their first names!!” This ability had helped him put Franklin D. Roosevelt in the White House in 1932. He built a system for remembering names- whenever he met a new acquaintance, he found out their complete name and some facts like his or her family, business and political opinions. He fixed all this facts in mind as part of the picture, and the next time met that person, even if it was a year later, he was able to shake hands, inquire after the family and other. No wonder he developed a following. The average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth. Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it-and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage. Napoleon the third, Emperor of France, took trouble to repeat or spell trivial names and associated with the person’s features, expression and general appearance. We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing…and nobody else. The names set individuals apart; it makes him or her unique among all others. The information we are imparting or the request we are making takes on a special importance when we approach the situation with the name of the individual. From the waitress to the senior executive, the name will work magic as we deal with others.
7. Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about them: According to Charles W. Eliot, “There is no mystery about successful business intercourse…Exclusive attention to the person who is speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is as flattering as that. ” Isaac F. Marcosson, a journalist who interviewed hundreds of celebrities, declared that many people fails to make a favorable impression because they don’t listen attentively. “They have been so much concerned with what they are going to say next that they do not keep their ears open…very important people have told me that they prefer good listeners to good talkers, but the ability to listen seems rarer than almost any other good trait.” A man who met Sigmund Freud described his manner of listening: “It struck me so forcibly that I shall never forget him. He had qualities which I had never seen in any other man. Never had I seen such concentrated attention. There was none of that piercing ‘soul penetrating gaze’ business. His eyes were mild and genial. His voice was low and kind. His gestures were few. But the attention he gave me, his appreciation of what I said, even when I said it badly was extraordinary. You’ve no idea what it meant to be listened to like that.” So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.
8. Talk in terms of other person’s interest: When Theodore Roosevelt expected a visitor, he sat up late the night before, reading up on the subject in which he knew his guest was particularly interested.
9. Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely: There is one all-important law of human conduct. If we obey that law, we shall almost never get into trouble. In fact, that law, if obeyed, will bring us countless friends and constant happiness. But the very instant we break the law; we shall get into endless trouble. The law is simple- always make the other person feel important. John Dewey said that the desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature; and William James said: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” As mentioned in the history that it is this urge that differentiates us from the animals. It is this urge that has been responsible for civilization itself. So let’s obey the golden rule, and give unto others what we would have others give unto us. How? When? Where? The answer is: all the time, everywhere. Little phrases such as “I’m sorry to trouble you, won’t you please? Would you mind? Thank you”- courtesies like these oil the cogs of the monotonous grind of everyday life-and incidentally, they are the hallmark of good breeding. Let’s remember what Emerson said: Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him. Therefore, let’s rephrase-“talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.”
1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain: B.F. Skinner, the famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior. This indeed, applies to the humans as well. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment. When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
Do you know the secret of Benjamin Franklin’s success? “He will speak ill of no man,” he said, “…and speak all the good I know of everybody.”
Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.”
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation: There is only one way under heaven to get anybody do anything. That is by ‘making the other person want to do it.’ Someone asked Sigmund Freud- the only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want. This is human nature!! W. James wrote “the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” This is the chief difference between a human and an animal-the desire for feeling of importance. C. Schwab had been paid more than thousand dollars a day by A. Carnegie!? Have you imagined why? Schwab says that he was paid this salary because of this ability to deal with people. He further continues, “I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people the greatest asset I possess, and by appreciation and encouragement.” There is nothing else that kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. Believe in giving incentives to the work done. I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.
When a study was made a few years ago on runaway wives, what do you think was discovered to be the main reason? It was “lack of appreciation.” Some people do more flattery than appreciation. In the long run, this will cause more harm than good. Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.
So always remember, hurting people not only change them, it is never called for. People will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime-repeat them years after you have forgotten them.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want: The only way on earth to influence other person is to talk what they want and show them how to get it. First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.” Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something. Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: “How can I make this person want to do it?” That question will stop us from rushing into a situation heedlessly, with futile chatter about our desires. If there is anyone secret of success, said H. Ford, “it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
4. Become genuinely interested in other people: Have you ever stop to think that a dog is the only animal that doesn’t have to work for a living? A hen has to lay eggs; a cow has to give milk. But dog makes his living by giving you nothing but love. You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Alfred Adler, a famous Viennese psychologist says: “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.” Now it is evident that for the corporate’s to survive in the competitive market they need to lay a path for serving their clients genuinely. Service industry-ITES train their employees to greet all callers in a tone of voice that radiates interest and enthusiasm.
5. Smile-a simple way to make a good first impression: Action speaks louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you. ” A baby’s smile has the same effect. It’s worth mentioning about the Chinese proverb-“A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.” Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. Someone who is under pressure from his job, business, relatives or finances, a smile can help her/him realize that all is not hopeless-that there is joy in the world.
6. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language: Jim Farley says his “success is due to the result of his ‘hard work’ funny! He continues that he can call fifty thousand people by their first names!!” This ability had helped him put Franklin D. Roosevelt in the White House in 1932. He built a system for remembering names- whenever he met a new acquaintance, he found out their complete name and some facts like his or her family, business and political opinions. He fixed all this facts in mind as part of the picture, and the next time met that person, even if it was a year later, he was able to shake hands, inquire after the family and other. No wonder he developed a following. The average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth. Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it-and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage. Napoleon the third, Emperor of France, took trouble to repeat or spell trivial names and associated with the person’s features, expression and general appearance. We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing…and nobody else. The names set individuals apart; it makes him or her unique among all others. The information we are imparting or the request we are making takes on a special importance when we approach the situation with the name of the individual. From the waitress to the senior executive, the name will work magic as we deal with others.
7. Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about them: According to Charles W. Eliot, “There is no mystery about successful business intercourse…Exclusive attention to the person who is speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is as flattering as that. ” Isaac F. Marcosson, a journalist who interviewed hundreds of celebrities, declared that many people fails to make a favorable impression because they don’t listen attentively. “They have been so much concerned with what they are going to say next that they do not keep their ears open…very important people have told me that they prefer good listeners to good talkers, but the ability to listen seems rarer than almost any other good trait.” A man who met Sigmund Freud described his manner of listening: “It struck me so forcibly that I shall never forget him. He had qualities which I had never seen in any other man. Never had I seen such concentrated attention. There was none of that piercing ‘soul penetrating gaze’ business. His eyes were mild and genial. His voice was low and kind. His gestures were few. But the attention he gave me, his appreciation of what I said, even when I said it badly was extraordinary. You’ve no idea what it meant to be listened to like that.” So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.
8. Talk in terms of other person’s interest: When Theodore Roosevelt expected a visitor, he sat up late the night before, reading up on the subject in which he knew his guest was particularly interested.
9. Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely: There is one all-important law of human conduct. If we obey that law, we shall almost never get into trouble. In fact, that law, if obeyed, will bring us countless friends and constant happiness. But the very instant we break the law; we shall get into endless trouble. The law is simple- always make the other person feel important. John Dewey said that the desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature; and William James said: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” As mentioned in the history that it is this urge that differentiates us from the animals. It is this urge that has been responsible for civilization itself. So let’s obey the golden rule, and give unto others what we would have others give unto us. How? When? Where? The answer is: all the time, everywhere. Little phrases such as “I’m sorry to trouble you, won’t you please? Would you mind? Thank you”- courtesies like these oil the cogs of the monotonous grind of everyday life-and incidentally, they are the hallmark of good breeding. Let’s remember what Emerson said: Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him. Therefore, let’s rephrase-“talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.”
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Developing Performance Teams
Dell Company realized that aligning teams towards a common objective and creating the same incentive system across the entire company would help direct everyone’s talent towards creating value for customers and share holders.
This would make one to understand the importance of developing and routing the teams towards the common goal.
As more and more teams are moving towards a team-based approach to work, the “command and control style” of leadership is becoming redundant. As a result, the leaders are playing the role of facilitators and are now expected to teach their team members on taking decision for day-to-day challenges.
What is a team?
A team is a small number of people with complementary skills who are committed to a common purpose, a set of performance goals, and an approach for which they hold themselves mutually accountable.
Difference b/w work groups and teams: -
Any group of people working together doesn’t form a team. Indeed there is a visible difference b/w a work group and team
1. WG- there is single strong leader, and he/she only is clearly focused.
T- Team members share leadership roles based on the needs and circumstances.
2. WG- There is no scope for mutual accountability. Only individual accountability matters.
T- They have individual and mutual accountability.
3. WG- The purpose is always the same as the mission of the organization.
T- The team shapes its purpose taking into consideration the top management’s expectations
4. WG- Delivers performances based solely on individual work-products.
T- Team’s performance is based on individual and collective work-products.
5. WG- Efficiency is the criterion.
T- Team meetings involve open-ended discussions and problem solving.
6. WG- The success is determined by the impact it makes on others.
T- Success is assessed based on the collective work-products.
7. WG- The working group activities involve discussion, decision-making and delegation.
T- Discussion, decision-making and execution are done by the whole team.
Ten very important principles of great teams:-
Warren Bennis conducted a study to identify the principles that made great teams successful. His studied teams include- Manhattan project (this team invented atom bomb), Palo Alto Research Center {(PARC) LAN, printer were invented here}, Apple computers, Lockheed Skunkworks (worked on top-secret air craft) and Walt Disney animation studios. He says that there were some principles common to all these.
1. Shared dream: Great teams sincerely believed they would change the world for the better. They did not treat their work as simply a job but a fervent quest.
2. Mission is bigger than ego
3. Protection from leaders: The team leaders helped the team members and managed to keep them satisfied and remain focused on their work/ goal.
4. Fostering enmity: A team with even the noblest of missions benefited when it had real or invented enemies in the form of competitors.
5. Dare to be different
6. Pain and suffering: sometimes for the benefit of the company mission and aligning to its goal makes one to go for personal sacrifices.
7. Strong leaders: The leaders in great teams are not always the most intelligent or capable in the team but neither are they passive players. They are like curators who appreciate and preserve talent in the team.
8. Meticulous recruiting: ensuring the right skill set employee in the right place.
9. Young and energetic: teams with young are quite energetic and creative.
10. Great teams deliver: Great teams always believe in tangible outcome. Steve Jobs of Apple computers reminded his team that their work was not good unless it resulted in a great product at the end.
Composition of teams:
It is important for teams to have problem-solving skills to identify problems and opportunities, evaluate the different options and decide which is better. This depends on interpersonal skills such as risk taking, active listening, helpful criticism and appreciation of the interests and achievements of others.
There should be an agreement on:
Who will do what?
What are the schedules and how they are to be met?
What are the skills that need to be developed?
How will the teams take decisions?
On what basis will the team change the existing way of accomplishing its purpose?
The shaping of a common approach needs:
Details of the task to be accomplished; and
A fit between individual skills the team task.
This would make one to understand the importance of developing and routing the teams towards the common goal.
As more and more teams are moving towards a team-based approach to work, the “command and control style” of leadership is becoming redundant. As a result, the leaders are playing the role of facilitators and are now expected to teach their team members on taking decision for day-to-day challenges.
What is a team?
A team is a small number of people with complementary skills who are committed to a common purpose, a set of performance goals, and an approach for which they hold themselves mutually accountable.
Difference b/w work groups and teams: -
Any group of people working together doesn’t form a team. Indeed there is a visible difference b/w a work group and team
1. WG- there is single strong leader, and he/she only is clearly focused.
T- Team members share leadership roles based on the needs and circumstances.
2. WG- There is no scope for mutual accountability. Only individual accountability matters.
T- They have individual and mutual accountability.
3. WG- The purpose is always the same as the mission of the organization.
T- The team shapes its purpose taking into consideration the top management’s expectations
4. WG- Delivers performances based solely on individual work-products.
T- Team’s performance is based on individual and collective work-products.
5. WG- Efficiency is the criterion.
T- Team meetings involve open-ended discussions and problem solving.
6. WG- The success is determined by the impact it makes on others.
T- Success is assessed based on the collective work-products.
7. WG- The working group activities involve discussion, decision-making and delegation.
T- Discussion, decision-making and execution are done by the whole team.
Ten very important principles of great teams:-
Warren Bennis conducted a study to identify the principles that made great teams successful. His studied teams include- Manhattan project (this team invented atom bomb), Palo Alto Research Center {(PARC) LAN, printer were invented here}, Apple computers, Lockheed Skunkworks (worked on top-secret air craft) and Walt Disney animation studios. He says that there were some principles common to all these.
1. Shared dream: Great teams sincerely believed they would change the world for the better. They did not treat their work as simply a job but a fervent quest.
2. Mission is bigger than ego
3. Protection from leaders: The team leaders helped the team members and managed to keep them satisfied and remain focused on their work/ goal.
4. Fostering enmity: A team with even the noblest of missions benefited when it had real or invented enemies in the form of competitors.
5. Dare to be different
6. Pain and suffering: sometimes for the benefit of the company mission and aligning to its goal makes one to go for personal sacrifices.
7. Strong leaders: The leaders in great teams are not always the most intelligent or capable in the team but neither are they passive players. They are like curators who appreciate and preserve talent in the team.
8. Meticulous recruiting: ensuring the right skill set employee in the right place.
9. Young and energetic: teams with young are quite energetic and creative.
10. Great teams deliver: Great teams always believe in tangible outcome. Steve Jobs of Apple computers reminded his team that their work was not good unless it resulted in a great product at the end.
Composition of teams:
It is important for teams to have problem-solving skills to identify problems and opportunities, evaluate the different options and decide which is better. This depends on interpersonal skills such as risk taking, active listening, helpful criticism and appreciation of the interests and achievements of others.
There should be an agreement on:
Who will do what?
What are the schedules and how they are to be met?
What are the skills that need to be developed?
How will the teams take decisions?
On what basis will the team change the existing way of accomplishing its purpose?
The shaping of a common approach needs:
Details of the task to be accomplished; and
A fit between individual skills the team task.
Coaching leaders
Coaching is a partnership between a leader and the individual who reports directly to him or her, in which the coach focuses on helping the direct report optimize his or her potential.
Characteristics and skills of a coach:-
Helps people in planning for their personal and professional development.
Works closely with employees, observes their behavior in different situations, and at various organizational levels.
Is supportive and non-judgmental.
Has expertise in the area in which people have to be coached.
Has a thorough understanding of the culture in the organization and knows how employees’ behavior is evaluated in that culture.
Sets the right goals, is honest and realistic.
Takes personal interest in those he/she coaches. Invests time in building relationships aimed at employee development.
Shows empathy in regard to personal and professional matters of employees.
Has a clear idea of the macro picture of the whole organization.
Is comfortable and secure. Allows people to grow under him/her.
Provides both formal and informal feedback.
Coaching is of 2 types: - Performance management and performance enhancement coaching.
Performance management coaching comes into picture when the leader finds that there is a gap between his subordinate’s actual and expected performance. In such a situation, the leader takes the initiative and tries to bring in the necessary corrections in his subordinate’s behavior through coaching.
Performance enhancement coaching takes place when a subordinate is performing up to the expectations and wants to acquire new skills to perform at higher levels.
The process of coaching involves the following steps: - making observations, conducting an analysis, giving feedback, engaging in inquiry, setting goals, planning action steps and recognizing improvements.
Why do some leaders shirk from coaching?
They think it is low priority work
They fear confrontation during feedback sessions
They lack adequate time and patience
They have a concern that they’ll appear weak in having hired or promoted the employee
Some feel the person undergoing coaching will feel insulted. They do not want to insult that person.
They expect people to figure out what they want to learn.
They do not know how to coach
They are ignorant of the benefits of coaching
They feel people do not need coaching at that level
They find it easier to ignore, circumvent and terminate the problem employee
Some feel that coaching is no longer a part of their duty. Rather it is the duty of the HR department.
David Ogilvy’s, the founder of Ogilvy & Mather, leadership is characterized by his coaching style. He was known for having deep conversations with his employees. These conversations went beyond the short-term concerns of his employees. During these conversations he used to explore and try to understand the employee’s life, dreams, goals and career hopes.
When looked at the style of Jack Welch (CEO of GE from 1981-2001), he sometimes sends hand written memos to the target employees or trainees and would ask them to be prepared to describe a leadership dilemma they have faced in the past 12 months.
Characteristics and skills of a coach:-
Helps people in planning for their personal and professional development.
Works closely with employees, observes their behavior in different situations, and at various organizational levels.
Is supportive and non-judgmental.
Has expertise in the area in which people have to be coached.
Has a thorough understanding of the culture in the organization and knows how employees’ behavior is evaluated in that culture.
Sets the right goals, is honest and realistic.
Takes personal interest in those he/she coaches. Invests time in building relationships aimed at employee development.
Shows empathy in regard to personal and professional matters of employees.
Has a clear idea of the macro picture of the whole organization.
Is comfortable and secure. Allows people to grow under him/her.
Provides both formal and informal feedback.
Coaching is of 2 types: - Performance management and performance enhancement coaching.
Performance management coaching comes into picture when the leader finds that there is a gap between his subordinate’s actual and expected performance. In such a situation, the leader takes the initiative and tries to bring in the necessary corrections in his subordinate’s behavior through coaching.
Performance enhancement coaching takes place when a subordinate is performing up to the expectations and wants to acquire new skills to perform at higher levels.
The process of coaching involves the following steps: - making observations, conducting an analysis, giving feedback, engaging in inquiry, setting goals, planning action steps and recognizing improvements.
Why do some leaders shirk from coaching?
They think it is low priority work
They fear confrontation during feedback sessions
They lack adequate time and patience
They have a concern that they’ll appear weak in having hired or promoted the employee
Some feel the person undergoing coaching will feel insulted. They do not want to insult that person.
They expect people to figure out what they want to learn.
They do not know how to coach
They are ignorant of the benefits of coaching
They feel people do not need coaching at that level
They find it easier to ignore, circumvent and terminate the problem employee
Some feel that coaching is no longer a part of their duty. Rather it is the duty of the HR department.
David Ogilvy’s, the founder of Ogilvy & Mather, leadership is characterized by his coaching style. He was known for having deep conversations with his employees. These conversations went beyond the short-term concerns of his employees. During these conversations he used to explore and try to understand the employee’s life, dreams, goals and career hopes.
When looked at the style of Jack Welch (CEO of GE from 1981-2001), he sometimes sends hand written memos to the target employees or trainees and would ask them to be prepared to describe a leadership dilemma they have faced in the past 12 months.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Verbal reasoning
Verbal reasoning tests use words, letters & numbers. It requires logical reasoning & knowledge in English.
Even though one need not be a master in maths, it considers one’s logical reasoning & an eye for arithmetic manipulation. Therefore it is necessary to have a basic knowledge in simple manipulations like: addition, subtraction, division, multiplication and figures.
Verbal reasoning includes the following classes or categories:
Analogical relationships
Series completion
Classification (finding odd man out)
Coding and decoding
Directional reasoning
Logical diagrams and relationships
Here in this blog I am providing some analogical relationships one can expect in any competitive exams and for general reference.
Antonymous: Opposite in meaning.
Examples: Poor: rich, always: never
Association: Clock is associated with time, similarly barometer with pressure.
e.g.: Time: clock, editor: magazine, director: film
Age relationship: e.g.: boy: man, cow: calf
Blood/family: e.g.: brother: sister, wife: husband
Comparative: making comparisons between the given lists.
e.g.: coal: black, blood: red
Cause and effect: In this the second word is a reaction that occurs due to the first.
e.g.: insult: humiliation, virus: disease, cholesterol: obesity, mosquito: malaria
Classification relationship: there can be biological, chemical or physical classifications.
e.g.: cow: mammals, lizard: reptile
Degree of difference relationship: They will have same meanings but difference in degree only.
e.g.: admiration: love, nip: crush, elevated: exalted, dirty: filthy
Functional: First term describes the function of the second.
e.g.: general: command, senator: legislates, scissors: cloth
Finished product & raw material: e.g.: grape: wine, flour: bread,
Numerical: relation between additions, multiplication etc.
e.g.: 9: 18, 6: 32
Purpose relation: e.g.: sand paper: abrasion, oil: lubrication
Place relation: Bangalore: Karnataka, red fort: Delhi, Agra: Taj Mahal
Quantitative: e.g.: liter: milliliter, grams: kilogram.
Qualitative: They can also be classified under antonyms.
e.g.: opaque: transparent, big: small
Synonymous: similar in relation.
e.g.: kind: benevolent, tedious: boring, indefatigable: untiring.
Sex: e.g.: man: woman, male: female, bull: cow
Symbolic: e.g.: flag: nation, stars: rank
Specialist & subject: e.g.: dermatologist: skin, heart: cardiologist
Time sequence: e.g.: morning: evening, day: night
Tool-object: tools used on the object.
e.g.: pen: paper, saw: wood, kick rod: bike
Utility: e.g.: pen: writing, car: driving, key board: typing
Worker-Article: creator of an article & the article used.
e.g.: Author: book, cobbler: shoe
Worker-tool: tools used by various technicians.
e.g.: Surgeon: forceps, writer: pen.
Whole-part, part-whole: e.g.: car: wheel, soldier: regiment, formula: constituent, equation: term.
Even though one need not be a master in maths, it considers one’s logical reasoning & an eye for arithmetic manipulation. Therefore it is necessary to have a basic knowledge in simple manipulations like: addition, subtraction, division, multiplication and figures.
Verbal reasoning includes the following classes or categories:
Analogical relationships
Series completion
Classification (finding odd man out)
Coding and decoding
Directional reasoning
Logical diagrams and relationships
Here in this blog I am providing some analogical relationships one can expect in any competitive exams and for general reference.
Antonymous: Opposite in meaning.
Examples: Poor: rich, always: never
Association: Clock is associated with time, similarly barometer with pressure.
e.g.: Time: clock, editor: magazine, director: film
Age relationship: e.g.: boy: man, cow: calf
Blood/family: e.g.: brother: sister, wife: husband
Comparative: making comparisons between the given lists.
e.g.: coal: black, blood: red
Cause and effect: In this the second word is a reaction that occurs due to the first.
e.g.: insult: humiliation, virus: disease, cholesterol: obesity, mosquito: malaria
Classification relationship: there can be biological, chemical or physical classifications.
e.g.: cow: mammals, lizard: reptile
Degree of difference relationship: They will have same meanings but difference in degree only.
e.g.: admiration: love, nip: crush, elevated: exalted, dirty: filthy
Functional: First term describes the function of the second.
e.g.: general: command, senator: legislates, scissors: cloth
Finished product & raw material: e.g.: grape: wine, flour: bread,
Numerical: relation between additions, multiplication etc.
e.g.: 9: 18, 6: 32
Purpose relation: e.g.: sand paper: abrasion, oil: lubrication
Place relation: Bangalore: Karnataka, red fort: Delhi, Agra: Taj Mahal
Quantitative: e.g.: liter: milliliter, grams: kilogram.
Qualitative: They can also be classified under antonyms.
e.g.: opaque: transparent, big: small
Synonymous: similar in relation.
e.g.: kind: benevolent, tedious: boring, indefatigable: untiring.
Sex: e.g.: man: woman, male: female, bull: cow
Symbolic: e.g.: flag: nation, stars: rank
Specialist & subject: e.g.: dermatologist: skin, heart: cardiologist
Time sequence: e.g.: morning: evening, day: night
Tool-object: tools used on the object.
e.g.: pen: paper, saw: wood, kick rod: bike
Utility: e.g.: pen: writing, car: driving, key board: typing
Worker-Article: creator of an article & the article used.
e.g.: Author: book, cobbler: shoe
Worker-tool: tools used by various technicians.
e.g.: Surgeon: forceps, writer: pen.
Whole-part, part-whole: e.g.: car: wheel, soldier: regiment, formula: constituent, equation: term.
ATTITUDE
Failure doesn’t mean:
You are a failure; it means you have not yet succeeded.
You have accomplished nothing; it means you have learned something.
You will never be able to do it; it means you have to do it in different way.
You are inferior; it means you are not perfect.
You have wasted your time; it means you have to start afresh.
You should give up; it means you should try very hard.
You will never achieve; it means it takes little longer.
God has abandoned you; it means god has a better idea! You will get better idea if you have faith in him.
Always think, instead of blaming darkness everywhere, light a candle if you can.
Stop blaming and plunge into action.
GOD: Generate enthusiasm; operate your potential, Destroy negative attitude.
Experience has shown that human resource is the most valuable asset of any business. People can be your biggest asset or biggest liability. A study by Harvard University says that when a person gets job it’s because of their attitude amounting to 85%. On the other hand, a meager 15% contributes to their smart and knowledge on various facts.
According to Shiv Khera, ‘attitude’ is the foundation of success regardless of your chosen field.
If attitude is such a critical factor in success, shouldn’t you examine your attitude toward life and ask how it affects your goals? We should observe that, it is attitude that contributes to success.
Factors that determine our attitude:
Do the Homosapiens born with attitude? Or we acquired as part of the societal norms? What are the factors that form attitude?
Primarily there are 3 factors that determine attitude: Education, environment and experience (triple ‘E’).
How can we differentiate positive with negative attitude? When someone says that Mr.XXX isn’t carrying any negativity, it doesn’t mean that he is a positive personality.
People with positive attitude possess visible characteristics and portray vibrations. Involuntarily they can segregate thoughts, organize their priorities, confident and always wear smile on their face. A person with a positive attitude is like a fruit of all seasons, he is always welcome.
Shiv Khera in his book “You can win” provides few benefits of positive attitude. This will:
Increases productivity and fosters teamwork.
Improve quality thereby increasing profits.
Breeds loyalty and fosters better relationships with peers.
Reduces stress and makes for a pleasing personality.
It is worth mentioning here about the attitude of Andrew Carnegie, one of the largest steel manufacturers in US. There are times where 43 millionaires used to work in his company. A stranger asked how he dealt with all the employees. His response is a million dollar information!!! He replied, “dealing with people is like digging gold: When you dig for an ounce of gold, you have to move tons of dirt to get an ounce of gold. But when you go digging, you don’t go looking for the dirt, you go looking for the gold.” He further continues if you are looking for what is wrong with people or with things, you will find many. There is something positive in every person and every situation, so look for that positive ounce and mould to a precious diamond. Looking for positive doesn’t mean overlooking faults.
Energy suckers:
On the other hand, there are a particular section of people with full of negativity. One must exercise caution to remain away from the energy suckers who are also called the negative thinkers. Here is a famous example about the pessimists, “Robert Fulton invented the steamboat. On the banks of the Hudson River he was displaying his new invention. The pessimists and skeptics gathered around to observe. They commented that it would never start, but it did. As it made its way down the river the pessimists who said it would never go, started shouting that it would never stop. What an attitude!! ”
Therefore one should pay attention while choosing a company. Observe if he/ she is a pessimist or an open minded optimistic thinker.
Who are pessimists? How to identify them?
They are those who: - are unhappy when they have no troubles to speak of.
Feel bad when they feel good, for they fear they will feel worse when they feel better.
Spend most of their life at complaint counter.
Always look for cracks in the mirror of life.
Stop sleeping in bed when they hear that more people die in the bed than anywhere else.
Don’t see the doughnut, only the hole.
Know that hard work never hurts anyone but believe “why take a chance?”
Now let’s look at the optimists. Who are they? How to identify them?
They are so strong that nothing can disturb their peace of mind.
Talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person they meet.
Make all their friends feel there is something in them.
Look at the sunny side of everything.
Think, work and expect only the best.
They will be as enthusiastic with others success as their own.
Give everyone a smile.
Spend so much time improving yourself that they have no time left to criticize.
Flash card: Intelligence is quickness to learn. Ability is the skill to apply what is learned. Competence is the ability and the desire to apply what is learned. Desire is the attitude that makes a skillful person competent. Many skillful people are incompetent. Ability without the right attitude is wasted.
A person will be successful with or without formal education if they have the 5 Cs:
Character
Commitment
Conviction
Courtesy
Courage
Shiv Khera in his book says: “An expert is someone who knows all the answers if you ask the right questions.”
You are a failure; it means you have not yet succeeded.
You have accomplished nothing; it means you have learned something.
You will never be able to do it; it means you have to do it in different way.
You are inferior; it means you are not perfect.
You have wasted your time; it means you have to start afresh.
You should give up; it means you should try very hard.
You will never achieve; it means it takes little longer.
God has abandoned you; it means god has a better idea! You will get better idea if you have faith in him.
Always think, instead of blaming darkness everywhere, light a candle if you can.
Stop blaming and plunge into action.
GOD: Generate enthusiasm; operate your potential, Destroy negative attitude.
Experience has shown that human resource is the most valuable asset of any business. People can be your biggest asset or biggest liability. A study by Harvard University says that when a person gets job it’s because of their attitude amounting to 85%. On the other hand, a meager 15% contributes to their smart and knowledge on various facts.
According to Shiv Khera, ‘attitude’ is the foundation of success regardless of your chosen field.
If attitude is such a critical factor in success, shouldn’t you examine your attitude toward life and ask how it affects your goals? We should observe that, it is attitude that contributes to success.
Factors that determine our attitude:
Do the Homosapiens born with attitude? Or we acquired as part of the societal norms? What are the factors that form attitude?
Primarily there are 3 factors that determine attitude: Education, environment and experience (triple ‘E’).
How can we differentiate positive with negative attitude? When someone says that Mr.XXX isn’t carrying any negativity, it doesn’t mean that he is a positive personality.
People with positive attitude possess visible characteristics and portray vibrations. Involuntarily they can segregate thoughts, organize their priorities, confident and always wear smile on their face. A person with a positive attitude is like a fruit of all seasons, he is always welcome.
Shiv Khera in his book “You can win” provides few benefits of positive attitude. This will:
Increases productivity and fosters teamwork.
Improve quality thereby increasing profits.
Breeds loyalty and fosters better relationships with peers.
Reduces stress and makes for a pleasing personality.
It is worth mentioning here about the attitude of Andrew Carnegie, one of the largest steel manufacturers in US. There are times where 43 millionaires used to work in his company. A stranger asked how he dealt with all the employees. His response is a million dollar information!!! He replied, “dealing with people is like digging gold: When you dig for an ounce of gold, you have to move tons of dirt to get an ounce of gold. But when you go digging, you don’t go looking for the dirt, you go looking for the gold.” He further continues if you are looking for what is wrong with people or with things, you will find many. There is something positive in every person and every situation, so look for that positive ounce and mould to a precious diamond. Looking for positive doesn’t mean overlooking faults.
Energy suckers:
On the other hand, there are a particular section of people with full of negativity. One must exercise caution to remain away from the energy suckers who are also called the negative thinkers. Here is a famous example about the pessimists, “Robert Fulton invented the steamboat. On the banks of the Hudson River he was displaying his new invention. The pessimists and skeptics gathered around to observe. They commented that it would never start, but it did. As it made its way down the river the pessimists who said it would never go, started shouting that it would never stop. What an attitude!! ”
Therefore one should pay attention while choosing a company. Observe if he/ she is a pessimist or an open minded optimistic thinker.
Who are pessimists? How to identify them?
They are those who: - are unhappy when they have no troubles to speak of.
Feel bad when they feel good, for they fear they will feel worse when they feel better.
Spend most of their life at complaint counter.
Always look for cracks in the mirror of life.
Stop sleeping in bed when they hear that more people die in the bed than anywhere else.
Don’t see the doughnut, only the hole.
Know that hard work never hurts anyone but believe “why take a chance?”
Now let’s look at the optimists. Who are they? How to identify them?
They are so strong that nothing can disturb their peace of mind.
Talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person they meet.
Make all their friends feel there is something in them.
Look at the sunny side of everything.
Think, work and expect only the best.
They will be as enthusiastic with others success as their own.
Give everyone a smile.
Spend so much time improving yourself that they have no time left to criticize.
Flash card: Intelligence is quickness to learn. Ability is the skill to apply what is learned. Competence is the ability and the desire to apply what is learned. Desire is the attitude that makes a skillful person competent. Many skillful people are incompetent. Ability without the right attitude is wasted.
A person will be successful with or without formal education if they have the 5 Cs:
Character
Commitment
Conviction
Courtesy
Courage
Shiv Khera in his book says: “An expert is someone who knows all the answers if you ask the right questions.”
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
PRACTICAL PERSONALITY AND DEVELOPMENT
Define Personality: - It is the combination of responses to external and internal stimuli”, a result of combination of biological and psychological processes”.
“It is the set of traits, characteristics, habit patterns, conditioned responses to certain stimuli that formulate the impression an individual makes upon others”.
Identifying a personality is no easy job. Mind can be understood as that which perceives. So what is perception? It is defined as the capacity to receive, understand, store, retrieve a thing that comes towards you, or you are exposed to. It is very high in people who are interested in technical aspects.
Perception is the aspect of learning the subject of his choice and interest wherein his person matter most.
Parts of perception:
1. Aspects of learning known
2. Aspects of learning unknown
3. Aspects of learning prescribed
4. Aspects of learning innovative
Personality: The process of a man to become a specified person with specific characteristics & behaviors depend on many factors of his life like his association as follows: -
1. Mother-father-relations.
2. Brother-sister
3. Friends
4. Environment factors-> people, climatic, work, educational & influential situations.
5. Educational pursuits
6. Social-political
7. Objectives in life
8. Achievement consciousness
9. Subjective matters. E.g. health
10. Dream factors
11. Situational factors
12. Conditional factors
13. Genetic factors
14. Compulsive factors
15. Spiritual factors.
“Great leaders do not make followers, they make other leaders”.
PERSONALITY TRAITS
A man becomes a person only with certain identified factors which work upon him and attain his behavior in a certain manner. In the later stages of identity, he is acknowledged as a person possessing those specific characters.
Formation of personality: -
A man’s quest for identity starts through knowledge of his own behavioral patterns. A sense of his knowledge could bring a set of qualities.
Factors of personality: -
Habits are thoughts manifested and secured.
Habit can make a person or that of a personality. They are powerful tools to ensure a person is made. They show themselves without your effort. Hence this habit formation should be observed by a person and drive them towards developing good habits. All the cumulative tendency of habits together forms a personality.
The habits consistently felt by a person get into this trap knowingly and form an attitude. We can also restate that attitude leads towards aptitude of individuals who are readily attuned towards certain objectives basing on aptitude.
While attitude is mind related due to consistent habits, aptitude is basically practicing the issues psychologically.
Factors influencing a person: -
A person can be influenced starting from the childhood, the way he was groomed by parents, treated by friends, places he visited, the knowledge he was imparted , affections etc. make a direct impact on a person’s psychic.
1. Childhood factors.
2. Environmental factors.
3. Objective oriented
4. Educational factors.
5. Socio political factors
6. Genetic factors
7. Physical factors.
8. Mental factors.
9. Physiological factors
10. Personal factors
“To live fully, we must learn to use things and love people, not love things and use people”.
SUCCESS AND FAILURE
“Success is the satisfaction that is derived by an individual according to his performance that he realizes out of doing a job with scientific basement”.
i.e., success is not a physical entity but it is a psychological in nature.
The person who knows his strength would basically depend upon and takes optimum mileage out of his strength so that he becomes strong. Realizing that he is depending on his strength he becomes powerful, enabling to do things accordingly basing on his analysis and effectiveness hence strengths are to be realized by frequent introspective behaviors of individuals.
Establishing success is not only the goal, but how it gets processed is very important. There is a prescribed process of events that would ensure results.
Factors of success: -
1. Proper inputs
2. Knowledge
3. Analysis
4. Man power
5. Men management
6. Time management
7. Concentration of mind
8. The ability to keep up with one situation consistently
9. State of mind
10. Sense of objectivity.
“It is the set of traits, characteristics, habit patterns, conditioned responses to certain stimuli that formulate the impression an individual makes upon others”.
Identifying a personality is no easy job. Mind can be understood as that which perceives. So what is perception? It is defined as the capacity to receive, understand, store, retrieve a thing that comes towards you, or you are exposed to. It is very high in people who are interested in technical aspects.
Perception is the aspect of learning the subject of his choice and interest wherein his person matter most.
Parts of perception:
1. Aspects of learning known
2. Aspects of learning unknown
3. Aspects of learning prescribed
4. Aspects of learning innovative
Personality: The process of a man to become a specified person with specific characteristics & behaviors depend on many factors of his life like his association as follows: -
1. Mother-father-relations.
2. Brother-sister
3. Friends
4. Environment factors-> people, climatic, work, educational & influential situations.
5. Educational pursuits
6. Social-political
7. Objectives in life
8. Achievement consciousness
9. Subjective matters. E.g. health
10. Dream factors
11. Situational factors
12. Conditional factors
13. Genetic factors
14. Compulsive factors
15. Spiritual factors.
“Great leaders do not make followers, they make other leaders”.
PERSONALITY TRAITS
A man becomes a person only with certain identified factors which work upon him and attain his behavior in a certain manner. In the later stages of identity, he is acknowledged as a person possessing those specific characters.
Formation of personality: -
A man’s quest for identity starts through knowledge of his own behavioral patterns. A sense of his knowledge could bring a set of qualities.
Factors of personality: -
Habits are thoughts manifested and secured.
Habit can make a person or that of a personality. They are powerful tools to ensure a person is made. They show themselves without your effort. Hence this habit formation should be observed by a person and drive them towards developing good habits. All the cumulative tendency of habits together forms a personality.
The habits consistently felt by a person get into this trap knowingly and form an attitude. We can also restate that attitude leads towards aptitude of individuals who are readily attuned towards certain objectives basing on aptitude.
While attitude is mind related due to consistent habits, aptitude is basically practicing the issues psychologically.
Factors influencing a person: -
A person can be influenced starting from the childhood, the way he was groomed by parents, treated by friends, places he visited, the knowledge he was imparted , affections etc. make a direct impact on a person’s psychic.
1. Childhood factors.
2. Environmental factors.
3. Objective oriented
4. Educational factors.
5. Socio political factors
6. Genetic factors
7. Physical factors.
8. Mental factors.
9. Physiological factors
10. Personal factors
“To live fully, we must learn to use things and love people, not love things and use people”.
SUCCESS AND FAILURE
“Success is the satisfaction that is derived by an individual according to his performance that he realizes out of doing a job with scientific basement”.
i.e., success is not a physical entity but it is a psychological in nature.
The person who knows his strength would basically depend upon and takes optimum mileage out of his strength so that he becomes strong. Realizing that he is depending on his strength he becomes powerful, enabling to do things accordingly basing on his analysis and effectiveness hence strengths are to be realized by frequent introspective behaviors of individuals.
Establishing success is not only the goal, but how it gets processed is very important. There is a prescribed process of events that would ensure results.
Factors of success: -
1. Proper inputs
2. Knowledge
3. Analysis
4. Man power
5. Men management
6. Time management
7. Concentration of mind
8. The ability to keep up with one situation consistently
9. State of mind
10. Sense of objectivity.
PERSUASION SKILLS
It is a basic skill many employees, organizations, business markets try to excel in. Without this one can’t dream success or gather talent pool. It is common in the MNC’s that when a manager prepares a business presentation along with the arguments, references, success stories and resources available he fails to persuade the clients with his proposal!!
People try to impress others with their ‘content’ ignoring ‘how the presentation is delivered.’ Therefore ineffective presentation leads to failure in persuasion.
According to Harvard business review’s persuasion skills can be improved by:-
1. Identify who the decision maker is in the group one is trying to persuade.
2. Identifying the decision making style of that person: and
3. Tailoring the arguments/presentation to the decision making style of the leader in the group.
Employees or people can be classified into 5 decision-making types:
1. Skeptics
2. Charismatic
3. Followers
4. Controllers
5. Thinkers
Skeptics:
Expressions that describe him: feel, grasp, agreeable, trust, power, demand, action, suspect, disrupt.
a. They are suspicious and have strong personalities. Their character traits include: demanding, disagreeable, rebellious and disruptive at times. They believe in take charge. They are fast decision makers.
b. They demand time, energy from their colleagues and act on feelings.
c. They ask all kind of questions during a presentation. At this time the presenter must maintain his composure.
Ways to persuade a skeptic: -
I. These people look for the credibility in the persuader. Therefore the persuader must gain the credibility before the presentation.
II. A skeptic trust people with the similar background, be it an education, hobby, job etc. hence the persuader must try to find something in common and worth highlight it to gain the trust of a skeptic. The persuader can also draw attention by getting the endorsement that skeptic believe in.
III. A persuader must never challenge the skeptic; instead he should be dealt delicately.
It may seem a daunting task to persuade a skeptic but in reality it is not so. In fact he is the one who want to race ahead with revolutionary ideas. The only fact is that the skeptics accept the ideas only if they come from their trusted source.
Charismatic: -
Expressions that describe him: clear, easy, focus, proven, action, bright, show, watch and look.
They are talkative, captivating, dominant, enthusiastic and persistent. Being fascinated by new ideas, they are able to absorb large chunks of information with ease. They are emotional yet rational.
a. Can’t take risk and not easy to get their approval. Before making any decision they look for facts that hold their emotions. It seems they rely on their past experiences to balance their enthusiasm and reality.
b. They take methodical decisions based on balanced information & look for proposals that increase the competitiveness of the firm.
c. These are never independent decision makers. They take suggestion from high profile executives before taking decision.
d. The high enthusiasm of charismatic makes one feel that they are fast decision makers, but in reality they take their own time & expect others to wait for them.
Ways to persuade a charismatic:
I. A persuader should discuss the risks involved in adopting an idea rather than describing the idea to grab charismatic attention. That is a persuader should provide an honest and upfront analysis of risks, highlight the measures to be taken to minimize those risks.
II. When persuading a charismatic one should not hide the draw backs, instead they should gain the confidence by being realistic.
III. Charismatic’s have short attention status & can’t hear long presentations. Therefore the central information must be presented in the first session.
IV. The persuader must work on presentations that make room for the bottom line or basics; else their ideas won’t take shape with charismatic person.
Followers: -
Expressions that describe him: innovate, similar to, previous, what works, bright, swift, just like before, expedite, expertise & old way.
a. They mostly rely on the past experiences. For e.g. while making a decision they look for a solution that was taken by a trusted person on a similar situation in the past.
b. They are responsible decision makers which resulted from the fear of making a wrong choice.
c. They may raise many issues and challenge the persuader, but they are ready to learn from others mistakes.
d. They consider themselves as innovative and forward thinkers & try to convince others.
Ways to persuade:
I. They are easy to persuade. Using anecdote of successful people and their decision making style as of those similar to the followers would boost their confidence. As followers believe in proven methods & successful track records, persuader must use testimonials & references.
II. Persuader must not present any out-of-the-box ideas nor expect from the followers.
Controllers: -
Expressions that describe them: facts, details, grab, handle, just do it, logic, keep them honest and make them pay, power & physical.
a. They are detail oriented, unemotional, analytical, objective and sensible. Interested in logic of arguments & pure facts. They hate uncertainty & ambiguity.
b. Controllers see everything from their perspective & think they know the best in every area.
c. They make snap judgments & are unilateral in decision making. Even though they discuss their ideas with others we hardly see them implementing.
d. They demand accurate information, but not always take rational decisions.
How to persuade:
I. Generally to cover the fear and insecurity, these people pay great attention towards minute details of the processes & methods. Hence the persuader must able to answer questions that ask for minute details.
II. Controllers are self absorbed; as a result persuaders must be prepared for long silences during presentations.
III. Persuaders should never challenge the controllers, as they never surrender while arguing on what they believe.
IV. When persuading a controller the persuader must put forward an argument that is structured, linear and credible.
V. Persuader should never try to sell his ideas; instead he should leave it to the discretion of controllers. In nutshell, persuader must provide all the details to the controller & leave him to make a decision.
Thinkers: -
Expressions that describe them: expert, competition, academic, intelligent, makes sense, numbers, plan, quality, proof and think.
a. They are difficult to understand, tough to persuade, academic, cerebral.
b. They are very careful when they talk. Like arguments which are quantitative & supported by data.
c. They take pride in out-maneuvering & out-thinking the competition.
d. Depend lot on comparative data; hence it is a bit tough to convince them.
e. Thinkers try to gain a holistic perspective of a given situation & averse to risk taking.
How to persuade:
I. Presenter should communicate the drawbacks of the idea at the starting of the meeting because thinkers are more effective in taking decision when they know beforehand the risks involved.
II. Their thought process is not always methodical & if they break from their usual way of decision making if they feel to save time & money.
III. Similar to controllers, thinkers should be given enough time & space to come to a conclusion.
IV. Thinkers rarely forget any bad experience. Hence, the proposal made must appear to be the best available option.
V. Thinkers often take contradictory views in meetings. Persuader must remember that thinkers do not like to express what they are thinking (this is to hide their penchant). They do not voice their opinions till they take final decision.
People try to impress others with their ‘content’ ignoring ‘how the presentation is delivered.’ Therefore ineffective presentation leads to failure in persuasion.
According to Harvard business review’s persuasion skills can be improved by:-
1. Identify who the decision maker is in the group one is trying to persuade.
2. Identifying the decision making style of that person: and
3. Tailoring the arguments/presentation to the decision making style of the leader in the group.
Employees or people can be classified into 5 decision-making types:
1. Skeptics
2. Charismatic
3. Followers
4. Controllers
5. Thinkers
Skeptics:
Expressions that describe him: feel, grasp, agreeable, trust, power, demand, action, suspect, disrupt.
a. They are suspicious and have strong personalities. Their character traits include: demanding, disagreeable, rebellious and disruptive at times. They believe in take charge. They are fast decision makers.
b. They demand time, energy from their colleagues and act on feelings.
c. They ask all kind of questions during a presentation. At this time the presenter must maintain his composure.
Ways to persuade a skeptic: -
I. These people look for the credibility in the persuader. Therefore the persuader must gain the credibility before the presentation.
II. A skeptic trust people with the similar background, be it an education, hobby, job etc. hence the persuader must try to find something in common and worth highlight it to gain the trust of a skeptic. The persuader can also draw attention by getting the endorsement that skeptic believe in.
III. A persuader must never challenge the skeptic; instead he should be dealt delicately.
It may seem a daunting task to persuade a skeptic but in reality it is not so. In fact he is the one who want to race ahead with revolutionary ideas. The only fact is that the skeptics accept the ideas only if they come from their trusted source.
Charismatic: -
Expressions that describe him: clear, easy, focus, proven, action, bright, show, watch and look.
They are talkative, captivating, dominant, enthusiastic and persistent. Being fascinated by new ideas, they are able to absorb large chunks of information with ease. They are emotional yet rational.
a. Can’t take risk and not easy to get their approval. Before making any decision they look for facts that hold their emotions. It seems they rely on their past experiences to balance their enthusiasm and reality.
b. They take methodical decisions based on balanced information & look for proposals that increase the competitiveness of the firm.
c. These are never independent decision makers. They take suggestion from high profile executives before taking decision.
d. The high enthusiasm of charismatic makes one feel that they are fast decision makers, but in reality they take their own time & expect others to wait for them.
Ways to persuade a charismatic:
I. A persuader should discuss the risks involved in adopting an idea rather than describing the idea to grab charismatic attention. That is a persuader should provide an honest and upfront analysis of risks, highlight the measures to be taken to minimize those risks.
II. When persuading a charismatic one should not hide the draw backs, instead they should gain the confidence by being realistic.
III. Charismatic’s have short attention status & can’t hear long presentations. Therefore the central information must be presented in the first session.
IV. The persuader must work on presentations that make room for the bottom line or basics; else their ideas won’t take shape with charismatic person.
Followers: -
Expressions that describe him: innovate, similar to, previous, what works, bright, swift, just like before, expedite, expertise & old way.
a. They mostly rely on the past experiences. For e.g. while making a decision they look for a solution that was taken by a trusted person on a similar situation in the past.
b. They are responsible decision makers which resulted from the fear of making a wrong choice.
c. They may raise many issues and challenge the persuader, but they are ready to learn from others mistakes.
d. They consider themselves as innovative and forward thinkers & try to convince others.
Ways to persuade:
I. They are easy to persuade. Using anecdote of successful people and their decision making style as of those similar to the followers would boost their confidence. As followers believe in proven methods & successful track records, persuader must use testimonials & references.
II. Persuader must not present any out-of-the-box ideas nor expect from the followers.
Controllers: -
Expressions that describe them: facts, details, grab, handle, just do it, logic, keep them honest and make them pay, power & physical.
a. They are detail oriented, unemotional, analytical, objective and sensible. Interested in logic of arguments & pure facts. They hate uncertainty & ambiguity.
b. Controllers see everything from their perspective & think they know the best in every area.
c. They make snap judgments & are unilateral in decision making. Even though they discuss their ideas with others we hardly see them implementing.
d. They demand accurate information, but not always take rational decisions.
How to persuade:
I. Generally to cover the fear and insecurity, these people pay great attention towards minute details of the processes & methods. Hence the persuader must able to answer questions that ask for minute details.
II. Controllers are self absorbed; as a result persuaders must be prepared for long silences during presentations.
III. Persuaders should never challenge the controllers, as they never surrender while arguing on what they believe.
IV. When persuading a controller the persuader must put forward an argument that is structured, linear and credible.
V. Persuader should never try to sell his ideas; instead he should leave it to the discretion of controllers. In nutshell, persuader must provide all the details to the controller & leave him to make a decision.
Thinkers: -
Expressions that describe them: expert, competition, academic, intelligent, makes sense, numbers, plan, quality, proof and think.
a. They are difficult to understand, tough to persuade, academic, cerebral.
b. They are very careful when they talk. Like arguments which are quantitative & supported by data.
c. They take pride in out-maneuvering & out-thinking the competition.
d. Depend lot on comparative data; hence it is a bit tough to convince them.
e. Thinkers try to gain a holistic perspective of a given situation & averse to risk taking.
How to persuade:
I. Presenter should communicate the drawbacks of the idea at the starting of the meeting because thinkers are more effective in taking decision when they know beforehand the risks involved.
II. Their thought process is not always methodical & if they break from their usual way of decision making if they feel to save time & money.
III. Similar to controllers, thinkers should be given enough time & space to come to a conclusion.
IV. Thinkers rarely forget any bad experience. Hence, the proposal made must appear to be the best available option.
V. Thinkers often take contradictory views in meetings. Persuader must remember that thinkers do not like to express what they are thinking (this is to hide their penchant). They do not voice their opinions till they take final decision.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Personality profile self examination
Recently I have read a book written by Florence Littauer. I came across many interesting points on the temperaments. She has included many aspects on which one can determine the various personality aspects.
There are 4 personality temperaments every individual falls under.
- Popular sanguine
- Perfect melancholy
- Powerful choleric
- Peaceful phlegmatic
To know which category you fall under, first you should do self check. I am presenting here the list of strengths.
List of strengths
Tick only one word in the row of 4 words that appeals the most. If you are not sure of what applies to you, then ask your close relative or associate what they had felt in those traits.
1) __Adventurous __Adaptable __Animated __Analytical
2) __bouncy __bold __behaved __balanced
3) __considerate __controlled __competitive __convincing
4) __Cheerful __consistent __cultured __confident
5) __Contented __chief __chart maker __cute
6) __daring __delightful __diplomatic __detailed
7) __demonstrative __decisive __dry humor __deep
8) __friendly __faithful __funny __forceful
9) __idealistic __independent __inoffensive __inspiring
10) __listener __loyal __leader __lively
11) __mediator __musical __mover __mixes easily
12) __orderly __obliging __outspoken __optimistic
13) __planner __patient __positive __promoter
14) __persistent __playful __persuasive __peaceful
15) __perfectionist __pleasant __productive __popular
16) __Refreshing __respectful __reserved __resourceful
17) __submissive __self-sacrificing __sociable __strong willed
18) __satisfied __sensitive __self-reliant __spirited
19) __sure __Spontaneous __scheduled __shy
20) __thoughtful __tenacious __talker __tolerant
After you have checked all the 20 words from the rows it will present a new you & your basic or acquired personality type.
So now what to do with this chart? How one may interpret which temperament he/ she belong to?
Advantages in understanding temperaments
a) It gives a look at our individual assets.
b) In overcoming our personal weaknesses.
c) Lays a path to improve relations with others.
d) Serves as a source of strength to achieve our potential.
e) Identify the right employee for specific job or thought
In short personality profile produces positive people.
For detail information on the said types, do post your comments. After reviewing your views, I will post the continuation as part-2.
Happy reading!!!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Non verbal gestures
The importance of verbal communication is known to everyone. So is the role of body gestures in determining whether a person is on his nerves, defending his point, acting smart or flirt his/her colleagues.
No one can deny the fact that who is the master of his speech is the master of his emotions and gestures. The ancient people and sages used this technique of reading gestures to identify the credibility of the stranger’s character or to understand the overall personality. This has served as a supporting tool in training the potential prospect for official purposes.
Due to commercialization that resulted through cutting throat competition, the subject of body language has gained momentum and departments are established to train on the gestures of convincing, acting smart and hold the meetings by hiding the flaws. Millions of currency is being routed to this department only to analyze and tap the potential resource. Hence it’s no wonder one has laid trust on this area of subject.
I hope this hub will serve as a source in identifying the personality or reading him/ her gestures to assess. There are many books and blogs already doing wonders on this topic. This is only a minor attempt to provide few details that I knew. Request you to kindly comment on this.
For starting any production, one would make a note of ingredients and raw materials required for the output, so is this blog. To read a person for specific gestures, first we should know what areas to be observed and for what?
1. Facial expressions: It is the first impression on any person. In fact, few consider face as the index of a person. This would convey if she is “available for you”, “he gives a fish look” or “ready to grab” etc meanings. So a careful observation will give subtle inferences. One can observe astonishment, confidence, fear, tension, love, panic, assurance, acceptance etc.
2. Shaking hands: People consider themselves as experts in analyzing stranger’s attitude by simply shaking hands. Such is the importance of this gesture. No wonder one can infer if you are nervous, defensive, friendly, confident, exaggerated, warm, cold etc.
3. Walking gesture: Everyone have their unique style basing on their social status, emotions, body structure etc. we can infer your energy levels, pride, dejection, goal oriented, response to dangers, liability etc.
Individual and combination of these raw materials will aide before plunging into reading others gestures.
Energy centres in body
Body Chakras
In today’s complex and stressful life very few know how to maintain vitality and vigor. This vitality is more prominent then money, hormones, vitamins or for that matter more than anything else.
The spiritual cultures or ages have thought us about energizing body, mind and soul. ‘One who is master of himself is the master of the nature.’ This is true in case of those energized souls who radiate cosmic aura.
Renowned yogis say that there are 7 energy centers situated at etheric levels of our body along the spinal column. Whether we realize or not, every person will feel the flow of energy through these centers.
Each energy center is called as a “chakra” meaning ‘wheel or disc.’ Chakras are depicted as a lotus with different petals. The more petals the chakra posses, the higher would be its frequency or vibration.
The super conscious or life force known as ‘kundalini’ is responsible for activating the chakras and the potential release of energy. As each chakra rotates, it emanates its own vibration, color and the entangled nature or character.
Effects of blocking the chakra:
When a chakra or energy center is blocked one observes fatigue, mood swings, and lethargy. That’s why elders say do not sleep or take bath after having food.
Why chakras are blocked? What will be the result?
Over stimulating a chakra (by continuous stress), under stimulating it (by ignoring) or depleting its natural life (by expanding its energy without proper knowledge) can all create blockages in our chakras.
Each chakra externalizes the energy it receives through a gland, as a result these blockages effect our health, unbalancing the emotions and leading towards stress, depression or lethargy.
It is these chakras that result in the aura spectrum for great saints and yogis. The more we practice energization techniques the better the aura’s visualization and vitality.
Clare Prophet says that “one can think of the energy centers as receiving and sending stations for the energy that flows through you. Each center is like a step-down transformer that translates the powerful energy from spirit to a different level of our being, nourishing body, mind and soul.” How apt it is to understand the centers.
Now let’s proceed with the 7 chakras starting from the base of the spinal cord.
1] Base chakra, located at the base of the spinal column.
Sanskrit name: Muladhara
Part of the body: Adrenals
Assigned color: white
Petals: 4
Positive vibrations: hope, purity, joy, self-discipline, integration, perfection, nurturing, symmetry etc.
Negative vibrations: hopeless, impurity, chaos, discouragement etc.
Musical instrument: drum, table
This chakra imparts the foundation for the inner and outer development. At this chakra the kundalini enlivens us both physically and spiritually. This chakra connects us with physical world and nature. Therefore balancing this chakra is the fundamental step for our practicality and effectiveness.
One reason why we consider this base chakra as the foundational is that its vitality and health affect all other chakras. How we use the energy at the base center will determine whether the remaining chakras remain dormant or awakened.
The initiation at this level asks us to have care for beings and perform our duties.
Self check about this chakra: - question yourself….
a) Is my spirituality physical?
b) Do I deny myself the things I need? Or do I indulge in things I don’t need?
c) How can I remind myself to look beyond outer trappings to the inner essence?
2] Soul chakra located between the navel and base of the spine.
Sanskrit name: Svadhishthana (=abode of the self).
Part of the body: organs and systems of elimination and reproduction.
Assigned color: Violet
Petals: 6
Positive vibrations: mercy, freedom, forgiveness, justice, diplomacy, revelation, intuition, prophecy, transmutation etc.
Negative vibrations: lack of forgiveness, intolerance, lack of tact, disregard to others, cruelty.
Musical instrument: woodwinds.
With this chakra we make contact with the soul and receive her impressions and guidance. To understand better consider this: - When you have a gut feeling on someone, you will receive soul impression giving you a warning, “it’s not safe to do this now or go for.”
Often these impressions and intuitions are accurate. According to Patricia R. Spadaro human beings challenge is to free their soul to recognize and then fully claim their spiritual inheritance and pattern.
Self check about this chakra: - question yourself….
a) What is the unique mission I am called to fulfill in this life?
b) What parts of my personality do I feel reflect the real me?
c) What habit patterns have I developed that do not support my spiritual growth?
d) Is there someone I need to forgive- for my own liberation and their liberation?
3] Solar plexus located at the navel.
Sanskrit name: Manipura.
Part of the body: digestive system, liver and pancreas.
Assigned color: purple and gold with ruby flecks
Petals: 10
Positive vibrations: peace, brotherhood, selfless service, right desire, balance, harmlessness.
Negative vibrations: agitation, anger, fanaticism, aggression, egoism, fear, anxiety, overindulgence etc.
Musical instrument: organ.
At this stage soul learns to cultivate inner peace and brotherhood. She does this by ‘mastering the emotions’ and desires while dealing with the tests and trials of her karma. Can we identify or feel this chakra’s presence…? Yes. Sometimes most of us feel butterflies in our belly or a wallop of energy from someone who was upset with us, as though we were being punched in the stomach. We were feeling that emotions through this chakra’s energy center.
Feelings like fear, agitation, peace or devotion are filtered through this center. Mastering the emotions doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have any emotion. Emotion (e-motion) is simply the energy in motion. One can use this energy in motion to reflect and amplify the feelings of our soul like staying calm at times of chaos, to inspire or to provoke.
God wants us to master lesson to observe, practice and put the learning to tap life force powers. Remember god will not give us more energy than we can hold in the chalice of our chakras.
Have you ever thought why should we have reserve energy? It’s because when the necessity arises we can send this energy through aura to others or for self. My parents say it’s like taking a loan. If we use this energy for good purpose, god feels his investment is safe and our past karma (bad) is reduced. If we misuse energy through agitations, by misleading others or by evil deeds, then we are mounting up bad karma. Hence god will cut off the supply.
Self check about this chakra: - question yourself….
a) Do I allow myself to indulge in off-balanced emotions?
b) What are my desires giving birth to, and am I happy with what I have created?
c) How can I give back to life the talents and gifts that life has given me?
4] Heart chakra located at the center of the chest.
Sanskrit name: anahata (=unbroken)
Part of the body: heart, thymus, circulatory system.
Color: pink, rose
Petals: 12
Positive vibrations: love, compassion, beauty, selflessness, sensitivity, appreciation, comfort, creativity, charity, generosity etc
Negative vibrations: dislike, hatred, selfish, self pity, negligence etc.
Music instrument: harp
This is the most important energy center in the body. It is the hub of life, physically and spiritually. The energy we receive from the god passes through our heart center before it moves on to nourish the other chakras and systems of our body. Hence as the energy passes from this heart chakra, so do its vibrations. Therefore he/ she should develop love, kindness and compassion to others. On the contrary, if one possesses tainted qualities, then the energy passing through this chakra will supply the vibrations of hatred, dislike to the rest of the chakras. So it is mandatory to start practicing meditation and clearing the imbalances in our behavior and balancing the heart. By doing so, not only will you gain the peace of mind but also abundant strength, vitality and mostly sound health.
Self check about this chakra: - question yourself….
a) Am I able to let go when I need to and let others take their own steps forward?
b) What are the challenging situations in my life, and what am I supposed to learn from them?
c) The next time I find myself in a charged situation, how can I use softness to turn it around?
5] Throat center.
Sanskrit name: vishuddha (pure)
Part of the body: thyroid, lungs and respiratory system.
Color: blue
Petals: 16
Positive vibrations: power, will, faith, protection, direction, courage, obedience etc.
Negative vibrations: control, condemnation, chatter, gossip, human willfulness, impotence, cowardice, doubt etc.
Musical instrument: brass
This is center through which we speak that is in our mind and heart. Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba says that the mastery of the throat chakra is central to our spiritual growth. This also includes not only what we say but how we say it- and what we choose not to say.
Question yourself: Are you practicing the right speech?
Self check about this chakra: - question yourself….
a) Do I allow myself to remain silent if I have nothing valuable to say at the moment?
b) Do I make assumptions and speak before I know the facts?
c) What are the negative beliefs I have about myself that undermine my success?
Our subconscious mind is like a recording machine. It records all the events we learned across the life time, good and bad from the past lives. Surprisingly it plays back all the past like a tape recorder. Hence it is mandatory for one to fill their mind with positive affirmations and vibrations.
6] Third eye located eyebrows.
Sanskrit name: Ajna chakra (to command)
Part of the body: pituitary, portions of the brain.
Color: Emerald green
Petals: 96
Positive vibrations: vision, truth, healing, wholeness, abundance, clarity, constancy, focus, music, science etc.
Negative vibrations: false hood, lack of vision and clarity, mental criticism, inconsistency, spiritual impoverishment etc.
Musical instrument: piano
Through this chakra we can access the power of inner vision to perceive the reality of a situation. Our insights and intuitions are the interior revelations that come to us through this third eye.
When we access the pure power this third eye, we have a clear perception and a clear perspective on life. To master the power of the third eye we must analyze and judge the flashes of genius that come through vision.
It is our duty to lay importance on both sides of our brain to have their say- creative and logic. If someone says about a brilliant idea or thought you feel so excited and refreshing that you can’t resist sharing that feeling to everyone. In that situation instead of just listening and sharing “have you ever given a thought how this happened or given a due consideration.” Why should we take strain to consider this question- because this is the guide for the next step?
Trust yourself and in your intuition. Write down all the ideas and vision that you had in the imagination without analyzing in the first hand.
Attention is the human beings key. “Where one’s attention goes, there goes their energy.” Dr. Wayne Dyte says that what we really, really want, we will get. And what we really, really don’t want, we will get too.
If we want to develop mastery in a certain skill or virtue, we must put our attention on it and we must with draw our attention, our vision, from what does not contribute to our success.
It is a good idea to actively use the power of your inner vision in your spiritual practices. Whenever you meditate or pray, you will get greater results if you visualize the outcome of what you are praying for. See it taking place before your eyes. See the details of those goals as if you were already at the finish line- A new job or home, a loving relationship, the healing of a loved one etc.
Self check about this chakra: - question yourself….
a) What mind sets or stereotypes am I holding onto about myself? About others?
b) Do I try to see others as god sees them?
c) Do I jump into conclusion when dealing with certain people or situations?
7] Crown chakra.
Sanskrit name: Sahasrara (thousand fold)
Part of the body: pituitary or pineal, cerebral cortex, nervous system.
Color: yellow, gold
Petals: 972
Positive vibrations: illumination, wisdom, self-knowledge, understanding, humility, cosmic consciousness, open-mind.
Negative vibrations: intellectual and spiritual pride, vanity, ego-centered, narrow-mind, ignorance.
Musical instrument: strings.
Through this chakra we receive wisdom and enlightenment. The wisdom of the crown, inextricably linked with compassion, impels us to share what we have received with those who need it most.
It is understood that when you wake up in the middle of the night looking for a solution, then remember that you have unlimited access to the knowledge and creativity you need (but only if you are prepared to receive it).
One way we can balance our crown chakra and receive the impulses of the divine intelligence is to slow down and keep the outer mind still. Another way to balance our mind is to invest time in meditation, communicating with god, reading the scriptures and visualizing our imagination.
Self check about this chakra: - question yourself….
a) Do I spend enough time in solitude?
b) Do I honor diversity and try to learn from it?
c) Do I seek to find the common bond that can bring me and others together, or do I dwell on our differences?
Conclusion:
- The more our soul is in touch with her true, spiritual nature, the more positive and accurate the intuitive readings will be.
- The road to self mastery is a continual process of self-examination. We must have the courage to explore how much of our identity is invested in our true, divine nature and how much is invested in our lower nature, our human ego.
- As some 14th century mystic said, “man knows many things; he does not know himself.” Let’s wipe out this statement for ever and dive deep into the love of god.
- Consider all the self check questions. If you sincerely put the effort to get the genuine response from self, then observe the flow of energy in that particular chakra. You will be astonished to sense that you are able to tap the vibrations.
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